“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.
Carolina Friends School (CFS) was founded upon the belief that there is that of God in everyone. This belief spoke to me as a young graduate of North Carolina Central University.
When I joined the CFS community in 1976, segregation was not too far in our rearview mirror. Many early Friends will comment on hearing two buses traveling down Friends School Road in those early years. The first was a large bus rumbling along with white children being carried away to their prospective schools. The second, and smaller, bus always honked its horn as it crossed the narrow bridge near the Klopfer’s house, transporting the Black children to their school.
During the tumult of racial inequity and injustice rampant across the nation, and particularly the South, Quaker belief and practice served as a reflection of the voice and struggle to which Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his life. At CFS, I discovered that I was among like-minded friends and teachers. True to the School’s founding philosophy, the dedicated teachers were devoted to celebrating the work of Dr. King—to educate and celebrate his legacy teachings. Now I was a part of it.
The evolution of the MLK Day celebration at CFS is noteworthy. The service began as a small, slow yet steady gathering where children would sing and give speeches, to the gathering of students and staff. Classroom teachers taught lessons and guest speakers were invited to share their experiences or teach us about the struggles for equality during the dark times in our history.
When Martin Luther King Day was first observed as a national holiday in 1986, Carolina Friends School did not join other schools in having a day off to attend other community celebrations. Rather, CFS dedicated the national holiday to celebrating and educating the community of students, staff and neighboring community, to embodying and to expounding upon his work and life. I was from a Black community and to tell my family and friends that I would be at school on the MLK national holiday met mixed reviews. I had to carefully explain that being at school on this day of celebration was important to the cause of celebrating MLK. With curiosity, my family and friends attended many of the celebrations and came to believe CFS had the right idea.
Eventually, we wisely widened our invitation to guests ranging from Chuck Davis, an African American dancer and choreographer, to Joan Trumpauer Mulholland, who was a cohort of John Lewis and a former freedom rider. Before long, the Mt. Sinai Baptist Choir became a big part of the school celebration in the early years as well. Their riveting rhythm and songs brought in the multi-racial neighborhood community. Over time, other staff and CFS family members joined the choir and the Community Choir emerged.
Although I joined the CFS staff with pride about its history and conscious engagement in civil rights work, I was initially less inclined to promote my Blackness as a community member. Despite being within this community committed to seeing that of God in every person, as I reflect now, I realize it took many years for me to tell of my journey as a Black woman among this sea of white faces. During my years at CFS, staff were asked to join a committee for the school year. It took me a while to choose the MLK Day planning committee. We were given the task of creating a school-wide program for our students and their families on a federal holiday that gave people a day off from work or school. Education was of paramount importance to us as a committee.
When I initially volunteered to be on the MLK committee, I thought that being the only brown face, I would choose to stay in the background and not be looked to as an “authority” because of my Blackness. I truly wanted to be a part of it and offer what I could to staff who clearly wanted to make change happen, but I didn’t want to be too obvious in my stature. I knew, however, that each of us, in our own way, needed to step up because we were necessary in fulfilling the dream that Martin expressed in his infamous speech, “I Have a Dream.” Anything we offer becomes more powerful and authentic when it is shared from a lived experience.
The MLK Day planning was a massive amount of work. This joyful yearly celebration evolved thanks to the families, the staff, and the community outreach and participation. The artwork, poetry, and other contributions of the CFS students particularly spurs me onward. When I hear their words my confidence and resolve grow with a newfound focus. I believe Martin’s dream gets wings every time we hear youth join their voices to the movement.
On a personal level and being only one of a few African American staff members at CFS during those early years, I knew that I had to merge my Blackness and my lived world into the white world that dominated the private schools and environments outside of myself. At CFS, I found a place to dedicate my skills as an educator and to engage in meaning-filled action and service to a broader cause. I came to recognize that I could not separate who I was and what I lived day in and day out as a Black woman in the South from what it was that my new employer, CFS, was expecting from me. I committed to fully teaching children and fully bringing my whole self to the teaching.
For me, the day of celebration and service feels like the warmth of a church revival—held to inspire or reawaken the spiritual vigor of a group of believers. In a similar way, the MLK celebration involves many people gathered and working for change, working together and sharing a sense of hope and renewal for our weary hearts. The struggles in our social fabric continue to reveal themselves. With that understanding, it is my prayer for renewed commitment to celebrating the life and legacy of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King Day, and the way the CFS community embraces its celebration and service, gave me a jump start of hope and determination to keep going. We all must keep going with inspired dedication. As for what stands out to my from my time at CFS, second only to my work with the children, is the MLK Day day of dedication to the children and to creating change. Progress is impossible without change, and change requires attention and action.
Dee Dudley-Mayfield served in the Lower School from 1976 to 2021. Dee’s great niece became a first time teacher in 202I during COVID. Dee has been mentoring her part-time. To relax, Dee enjoys lunch with friends, reading, and beach trips with my college pals. Whenever she thinks, "I haven't had any stress lately," she returns to never ending home repairs and remodeling.
